There is a question on Zhihu: "What is emotional value

A high praise response goes like this: "If you feel wronged at work and find someone to chat with, and their words make you empathize and your mood improves, then you have successfully obtained emotional value from them. But if you talk to them and their words point the finger at you, making you even more frustrated, then you want to obtain emotional value from them but fail

The so-called emotional value refers to a person's ability to influence the emotions of others.

People with high emotional value bring comfort and joy to others;

People with low emotional value can bring feelings of oppression and distress.

The most scarce value of contemporary people is having stable emotional value.

1、 Positive emotions are the cure for everything

Kazuo Inamori once said, "The path of life is depicted by the heart. Therefore, no matter how harsh the situation is, the heart should not be haunted by pessimistic thoughts

Only those who can control their emotions can find vitality in difficult situations.

A young person who frequently encounters setbacks feels extremely frustrated and aspires to change. He asked a wise man why he was so destitute and frustrated.

The wise man did not answer, but instead asked the young man, why are you disappointed?

The young man lowered his eyebrows and furrowed them slightly, saying helplessly, "I have always been so poor

But you're still so young, why do you say you're poor

Youth cannot be eaten as food. I am as poor as a wash, isn't it still considered poor? "Sighed the young man.

The wise man raised his lips slightly and said, "Would you be willing to exchange 50000 yuan for you to lie down in bed

The young man said decisively, 'Of course not!'

Would you be willing to offer you more wealth, even the wealth of the whole world, in a different situation, and make you sacrifice your life immediately

Without life, what's the use of having wealth? "The young man asked in confusion, puzzled by the profound meaning behind the wise man's question.

The wise man smiled and said, "It's great that you can understand this. You're still young and have plenty of vitality. You have unlimited hope and the possibility to create more wealth. This is the most precious wealth in the world. How can you say you're poor

Wise people lead young people to change their perspectives and see hope and the precious wealth they possess.

He did not improve the current situation of young people, but he effectively changed their mindset.

When a person is in a low point, they need to adjust their mentality, stabilize their emotions, and change their thinking. Only in this way can life turn around.

If you constantly blame yourself and others, then you will not have a chance to succeed.

Positive emotions are the cure for everything.

There is a saying that goes very well: "The so-called accident, from a different perspective, may be a story

Looking at things from a different perspective can have unexpected effects.

2、 The higher the emotional value, the better the relationship

There is a saying that goes, "Getting angry is like throwing a bomb, causing the building of love and trust that people have worked hard to build to collapse in an instant

In intimate relationships, we need each other's positive energy, rather than repeatedly overdrawing each other's tolerance and love.

There is a segment in 'Twenty Confusions' that reads:

Duan Jiabao's parents often argue fiercely over the bankruptcy of their company, and even criticize their friends in front of him at Jiabao's birthday party.

Duan's mother said that Duan's father is opportunistic and not focused on work; Duan's father accused Duan's mother of being unreasonable and having a hot temper.

The scene was full of gunpowder, and the friends of the family treasure were at a loss and didn't know what to say.

The parents' loss of composure and arguments caused Duan Jiabao to collapse, and she resolutely left, saying that she could not bear the bad emotions at home.

In the intensifying argument, there is no love, let alone respect.

Negative emotions are like poison permeating the air, eroding people's rationality and making them feel frustrated.

A good relationship requires mutual emotional resonance.

Without empathy, we cannot seek each other's support, encouragement, warmth, and love

A truly good relationship is not about finding faults or confronting each other, but about understanding and supporting each other.

One more word of concern, one less word of blame; More empathy, less self perception.

Don't let bad emotions stifle our hard-earned relationships, learn to nourish each other.

High emotional value is always the best nutrient for relationships.

3、 How to enhance emotional value

Writer Huveland said, "Among all the unfavorable influences in the world, the one that can make people fail is often excessive emotions

A truly intelligent person knows how to manage their own and others' emotions.

1. Stabilize one's emotions

Adjust your cognition, acknowledge the existence of emotions, do not rush to criticize or deny them, and slowly coexist harmoniously with them.

There is always a way to solve it, either by communicating with others or by doing things well and satisfactorily.

A favorite saying is "At that moment, there was a tsunami in your heart, but you remained silent and didn't let anyone know.

A person with stable emotions is not angry when faced with anger, and not worried when faced with worries.

They are not devoid of emotions, but they can be free from emotional manipulation and will not easily become hysterical.

Only by managing one's own emotions well can one have the energy to give emotional energy to others.

2. Positive praise

Sincere and positive praise is a remedy for healing, with the power to inspire progress and confidence.

As mentioned in "Conversations that Change Lives," being praised and respected by others can give people a sense of motivation and value in life.

When we can make the other person feel hopeful through praise, we are providing emotional value.

This kind of praise has no flattery, it is a affirmation of effort, dedication, and pure support.

3. Understand how to put oneself in others' shoes

In To Kill a Mockingbird, there is a line:

If you don't get into someone's skin and walk around, and consider things from their perspective, you won't be able to truly understand them

A person with high emotional value is someone who is good at capturing the emotions of others, discovering their underlying needs, and satisfying them in a timely manner.

This requires us to stand from the other person's perspective, try to build a connection with their emotions, and learn to listen.

There is a saying that goes, "It takes us a year to learn how to speak, but a lifetime to learn how to shut up

Listen with your ears, eyes, and heart, to hear the emotions and needs behind them.

When we can distinguish, we have the key to providing emotional value to others.

In "The Power of Positive Awakening," it is mentioned that "we do not feel positive emotions because of a fulfilling life and good physical health, but because sincere positive emotions create a fulfilling and healthy life

The quality of life depends on the emotions we hold and the emotional value we possess.

People with high emotional value have inner peace, tranquility, and conviction.

Gentle like water, providing comfort to the soul; Wise like a mountain, giving people profound power; Powerful like a tree, providing shelter for the soul.

Truly intelligent people know how to stabilize their emotions. May we all actively face the challenges of life, not be arrogant or impatient, give people the power of sunshine and warmth, and walk more and more smoothly on the road of life.